Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal via Getty
Lightly pointed commentary: Saluting Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club, Fey said, "He lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call being in a movie."
Stupid fun: Saluting Kerry Washington, they simultaneously turned to a side camera and whispered: "Scandal!"
Later in the show, Poehler came out dressed as Mr. Golden Globe – Tina Fey's grumpy teenage son, Randy. Randy should host the Oscars.
It would be nice even to have Fey and Poehler at the Pearly Gates, as adjuncts to St. Peter, so that whoever is turned away and hurled down into the fires of hell won't feel so bad.
As for the three-hour broadcast, the show itself wasn't much different from being on an airport walkway: Once you got on it, it moved along smoothly, effortlessly and for what seemed like a long time.
Some odds and ends:
• Jacqueline Bisset, whose table must have been in a separate wing of the Beverly Hilton Hotel, had an endless walk to the stage, then when she finally got there couldn't seem to get her speech started (she had won supporting actress in a TV miniseries, Dancing on the Edge). Yet when she eventually did start sputtering a grab bag of comments, she nonetheless delivered it with a star's bravura. Then she was played off.
• In fact, the orchestra seemed ready to play off just about everyone ("Can people at home hear this music," Cate Blanchett asked at night's end, winning for Blue Jasmine). But the winners quickly wised up to the fact that you should keep talking, anyway, and just imagine you were drowning out an annoying cellphone conversation that happened to be an orchestra.
• Aaron Paul, speaking on behalf of the Breaking Bad crew after it won for best TV drama series, was left to give a speech, which was: "Yeah, bitch! Thank you!" That, fans of the show know, is the closing line from the poem "Ozymandias."
• After an unusually bad compendium of clips from the movies of Woody Allen, Oscar-winner Diane Keaton accepted a lifetime achievement award on his behalf. Discussing her long personal and professional relationship with Allen, she ended by singing the sweet little old song: "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, and the other's gold." Jennifer Lawrence can live to 110, and she will never be able to do that. Maybe she shouldn't, but still, she won't be able to.
• Emma Thompson, handing out the award for best screenplay, arrived on stage in party mode, with a cocktail in one hand and her shoes in the other. She has the greatest midcareer hairstyle I have ever seen.
• Presenter Melissa McCarthy pretended to have been hit on the head with a sandbag and was under the impression she was Matt Damon. It made no sense, but who cares?
• In the television awards, the biggest surprises were FOX's Brooklyn Nine-nine's win as best TV comedy, and Andy Samberg's as best actor, TV comedy, for that show. Both fully deserved – it's a terrific sitcom – but still unexpected.
• Did Kerry Washington win best TV actress for the ABC drama Scandal, as I hoped? No. She never seems to win, as I hope. It was Robin Wright for her cool, hard and admittedly exemplary work in Netflix's House of Cards.
• Leonardo DiCaprio, presenting the award for best actress in a movie drama, pronounced Philomena "Philomania." Judi Dench probably would have turned that down.
More Golden Globes Sparkle
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